Tuesday, October 19, 2004

DJ,DU,Taman Sea,Chung Hwa,Kluang..All you biatches are the same man :)

Sheesh, I must say that I have quite a sick perverted bunch of friend’s man. All asking about the nightlife, the chicks, the “lady-boy’s”. ..You guys make me proud to be your friend man…Hahahah…

Allright, here comes Kheng Leong’s guided tour of the nightlife in Bangkok. 3 General Rules to remember.

Rule number 1 : Go-Go Bar's and Chicks in bikini's are synonymous.
Rule number 2: The numbers are there for a reason,. Use them!
Rule number 3: The easiest way to differentiate a lady-boy from a girl is the adam. Look out for it. If the chick be shy and not willing to speak...you may be in for a loooong night...If all else fails look at the hips. How many chicks do you know have little or no hips at all? It's natural man, that's why they call it child-bearing hips..

I am not sure if you all are aware of this, but the oldest profession in the world is legal in Thailand. At least that’s what the local’s tell me. Most of them ply their trade in Go-go bars. Man, you think Beyoncè can shake her bootie? You haven’t seen the girls on the poles in Bangkok man, when they shake that bootie they shake that bootay…Nowamsayin? Nowadays you even have themed go-go Bars. You will be surprised how many middle-aged horny farking Japanense men you can find loitering the streets after 11.00PM. That number doubles over the weekend. Cause that’s when the Caucasians come out to play. Generally there are a couple of streets (soi’s) which cater to the horny farang’s at night. There’s Nana Plaza, Soi Cowboy and the ever so famous Patpong.

So, back to the themed bar’s. There’s this bar at Soi Cowboy where the girls are all dressed in Japanese schoolgirl uniforms. On top of that they have two floors, and they also dance on the second floor. What’s the big deal? The whole floor is glass man, it’s see through, and the girls on the second floor? They don’t wear knickers under those uniforms man. Nothing. Zero, zilch, zip…Let’s just say I left that bar with my mates with a stiff neck. I will include the fees at the end. Do read on.

A little further down Soi Cowboy, there was this Bar that was all decked up as an old western style bar. The girls there had the teeniest bikini’s on with em huge ten-gallon hats and whips to boot. Talk about SM….

Nana Plaza. Three floors of go-go bars. Nuff said. Generally, the higher up you go, the older the dancers get. I would personally recommend the first floor. Some girls on the ground floor look barely legal.

Patpong? I wouldn’t do that area if I were you guys. That place is overpriced. I generally find the girls at Nana or Soi cowboy to be ‘friendlier’ and more approachable.

Now here’s what we all be interested in. The prices. A beer will set you back about 100-120 baht. Get the girls a coke , 80 Baht and the girl gets to take home 30 baht. That’s their commission. Depending on your skill “level”, you can get more than a cop a feel if you catch my drift. Two cokes generally do the job. You can get away with more than you share of "squeezing" then. But like I said, treat them nice, you may even get a nice massage….

They all promise to love you long time and all of them will also ask you to take them back hotel. Price of admission? 1500 Baht and a 500 Baht tip for the mamasan. And no, I have not taken any of them, back to my room. You horny mofo’s…No pictures as well, Bouncers there are way bigger than SKT. Whaddaya expect? Girls in Bikini's and a room full of horny mofo's...